Read the question? NEVER!

Recently, I gave the following questions to some of my first year students. Bear in mind that all of the content had been covered in the lectures and so should not have evoked some of the bizarre responses that I received...Below each question are the correct answers and the mark allocation.

Answer the following questions.


a) Some species of fish have evolved a modified muscle which permits them to generate electrical charge. What are these cells called? (1 mark)
Electrocytes (1)


b) Suggest two characteristics of these modified muscles which allow these tissues to generate electrical charge. (2 marks)
They possess little to no sarcoplasmic reticulum (SR) (1), they occur in a stacked arrangement like electrical cells in series (1), they respond to action potentials (AP’s) by altering their membrane potential (1).


c) What functions do these electrical charges serve for the fish? (3 marks)
Defence (1), Navigation (1), Communication (1), Hunting (1).


This is what the students wrote. Apparently reading the question is entirely optional:

a) Because the ventricular system is not fully developed, they have a ventricular septum that separates the right and left ventricles.

a) Electroreceptors [not entirely retarded, but certainly not the kind of question you should be messing up...but things then plummeted downhill; the next two answers were from the same person]

b) They have sphincters that contract and expand. They have axons that stimulate hormone production

c) They allow water to enter into the body, surrounding all cells and achieving homeostatis

b) More fibres. Higher contraction.

c) They help them to survive in water and be able to live under extreme conditions.

c) O2 transport. Nutrient and waste transport. Hormonal transport.

c) Defence; clear murky water by electrolysis and thermoregulation. [Emphasis added]

reptilian rats

While I commend this student for knowing about reptiles I question how they have managed to reach the second prac of their rat dissection. Unfortuntely I was not present until after this question was posed! I hope the student just has a strange sense of humour!
Student: (looking at the rat heart) So this has a three chambered heart right?
TA: No it has four.
Student: But why? Its a reptile.

... and you're going to WHAT?

This question was posed to a first aid instructor by a medic student...

So, I've heard that water contains lots of dissolved oxygen. Can I give it to a person who a) isn't breathing and b) has no pulse?

Answer: NOOOOO! The person is technically dead!!!!!!!