Read the question? NEVER!

Recently, I gave the following questions to some of my first year students. Bear in mind that all of the content had been covered in the lectures and so should not have evoked some of the bizarre responses that I received...Below each question are the correct answers and the mark allocation.

Answer the following questions.


a) Some species of fish have evolved a modified muscle which permits them to generate electrical charge. What are these cells called? (1 mark)
Electrocytes (1)


b) Suggest two characteristics of these modified muscles which allow these tissues to generate electrical charge. (2 marks)
They possess little to no sarcoplasmic reticulum (SR) (1), they occur in a stacked arrangement like electrical cells in series (1), they respond to action potentials (AP’s) by altering their membrane potential (1).


c) What functions do these electrical charges serve for the fish? (3 marks)
Defence (1), Navigation (1), Communication (1), Hunting (1).


This is what the students wrote. Apparently reading the question is entirely optional:

a) Because the ventricular system is not fully developed, they have a ventricular septum that separates the right and left ventricles.

a) Electroreceptors [not entirely retarded, but certainly not the kind of question you should be messing up...but things then plummeted downhill; the next two answers were from the same person]

b) They have sphincters that contract and expand. They have axons that stimulate hormone production

c) They allow water to enter into the body, surrounding all cells and achieving homeostatis

b) More fibres. Higher contraction.

c) They help them to survive in water and be able to live under extreme conditions.

c) O2 transport. Nutrient and waste transport. Hormonal transport.

c) Defence; clear murky water by electrolysis and thermoregulation. [Emphasis added]

reptilian rats

While I commend this student for knowing about reptiles I question how they have managed to reach the second prac of their rat dissection. Unfortuntely I was not present until after this question was posed! I hope the student just has a strange sense of humour!
Student: (looking at the rat heart) So this has a three chambered heart right?
TA: No it has four.
Student: But why? Its a reptile.

... and you're going to WHAT?

This question was posed to a first aid instructor by a medic student...

So, I've heard that water contains lots of dissolved oxygen. Can I give it to a person who a) isn't breathing and b) has no pulse?

Answer: NOOOOO! The person is technically dead!!!!!!!

Your first ANOVA and post hoc I presume...

Direct Quote from a students field practical write up

"The result show that there is significance difference in the habitat (df = 5, F = 20.24, p = 0.004; Turkey, p = 0.006). The Turkey was used to compare the result between bush clump and grassland area (figure 2)"

I would never have guessed

The Species Area curve for Islands nearby the mainland are linear lines.

As opposed to?

There's a first time for everything

Despite being called Hitler by students in the past, I'd like to think that give them all a fair chance. For example, students are allowed to hand in a rough draft to get an idea of where they can improve (almost a "Here are free grades, come and take them!" opportunity yes?).

Today a student asked me to go over a draft for them. Fine, only the assignment was due a few hours BEFORE they asked me to go over a draft!

Surely they can't have the benefit of a rough draft if they are already late? Then again maybe they were counting on the draft to cover up for marks lost for handing in late. I told them I'd skim read the draft and return it to them with brief commentary (best compromise I thought)

Endemism takes on a new meaning....

This from respected scientific literature...

The knysna turaco is endemic to South Africa.
It is threatened in South Africa due to deforestation but considered not threatened in the rest of its range.

??!!
Has the meaning of endemic changed and nobody told me?