Smelly ears...?

When asked to explain how the human body maintains balance, one student produced this little gem:

'Olfactory receptors in the ear control balance.'

I, like, totally agree with you, dude...

On a worksheet where students have to descibe the symmetry of a specimen as either 'Radial' or 'Bilateral'.

The symmetry is radical.

Is your pot plant acting strange...?

An annotation on a diagram, referring to a pyrenoid, a cluster of enzymes found in chloroplasts...

"There are dark spots in the chloroplasts. These might be the paranoids..."

Pine trees! A fantastic food source!

Conifers are:

‘…wheat.’

Snibble...?

Q: What teeth of the rat are visible in the provided diagram and how many pairs of these teeth occur in the upper jaw of the rat?

A: upper front teeth: only one pair (2). *He uses it to cut off vegetables and snibble on paper or anything chewable.

And they're, what, 9 years old...?

Todays post is to highlight the terrifying levels of stupidity in the university students that we work with. The answers below were lines taken from selected 3rd grade student's projects on 'Space'. As you read them, compare these to the quality of answers that riddle the rest of this blog. Thanks to Sarah for the brilliant answers!

When asked to do a project on the planets in our solar system I got the following responses from grade three learners:

• Mercury: a heauy silvery white liguid metalic element used in some thermometers and barometers.
  
• Jupiter is the biggest planet and people can't go to Jupiter because it has a sercurity system.
  
• Pluto is close to the sun.
  
• Mercury have many stars.
  
• Pluto was once a planet people ust to come and visit pluto but now they don't becouse it is now a dwarf planet in the whole solar system but now people only visit Neptune, Jupiter, Mars, Mercury, Uranus, Earth, Saturn only becase they are not even dwarf planets ever and ever again.
  
• Mars is a red planet the one that has pancakes in side . . . and when some people go to space they go down and down and down untill they stoped at the grownd . . . and when they go up the see holes in mars and some more pancakes.
  
• Venus is a planet that have aliens.
  
• Earth direct and unembarrassed abour sexual subjects or bodilx functions.
  
• One little boy added photographs of his family and friends after his 3/4 page project on the solar system.

That explains a lot...

Did you know...

'Nerve tissue is divided into CNS and PMS.'

Confusion reigns supreme!

Q: What features place birds in Class Aves and not Class Mammalia?

Birds have specialised pelvic muscles.
Birds have feathers, just like mammals.
They have the ability to singing in a way of calling other organisms (birds).
Birds do not bare an alive bird after reproduction.
Birds do not necessarily consist of fur or hair.
Birds give birth to their young in the form of egg shells.
The feathers of a bird act as the hands.
Since birds do not have mammary glands they can not feed their young ones.
Feathers can be regenerated if they are disturbed or broken.
Birds can fly and walk at the same time.
Birds do not give birth to live animals.
Built for flight not pedal.
They do not show any bipedalism, which is displayed by all other creatures in the class mammalia.
Although birds lay eggs, have parental care and have hair they are placed in the class Aves because they can fly (full answer for 10 marks)
They consist of a beaker used for feeding.
They consist of feathers for flying, as well covering body to prevent body temperature inside body.
Aves have beaks instead of jaws and wings are present, which is not seen in Class Mammalia (except in duck billed platypus)
They are not underwater animals.
Birds do not have tits to feed their young with milk.
The feathers are made of retina.
The class Aves include endothermic, where mammals are ectothermic.

That's gotta be a nasty surprise...!

Q: What is the sex of this rat? Name two structures visible in your specimen that support your answer.

A: Female, ovaries, horned vagina.

At least predators are concerned with their spiritual well-being...

‘…the guppies with increased spot brightness are the ones that are most likely to get prayed upon…’

Darwin would keel over and die...

Q: What is the difference between a homology and an analogy?

A: Homology is the study of humans whereas analogy is the study of animals.

When in doubt...blame the birds!

Q: What evidence from this example can be used to show common ancestory?

A: The hind-limb of a dog, rabbit and frog represent a homology because they all come from birds.

Did ANYONE read their notes...?!

Q: Give an example of a neural tube defect discussed in the lectures. (Correct answer: Spina bifida)
A: Spina bafada
A: Spinal diffidice
A: Spinal bifida
A: Spinodefridia
A: Spinal ambiphida
A: Spinaliphida
A: Spinobifida
A: Spinal befrida
A: Spinal bifrida
A: Spinodiphidor
A: Spinna bofida
A: Spinal diffida
A: Spinabifidae
A: Neural bypiphidal
A: A neural defect could be someone with an extra finger on their hand.
A: Spine abifida
A: Spinol biphader
A: Spinobafidae
A: Syphilicous
A: Spinalfibia
A: Spinal embyphida
A: Spinodefinis
A: Spinaldyfida
A: Spina difidae
A: Spinaldifrida
A: Neuro-dislocation
A: Spinal basophil
A: Spinia bifnia
A: Spinebefilindra
A: Spinal fidalia
A: Cerebral pause
A: Neuropifidimis
A: Spinobefoeda
A: Neurobipiphadal
A: Spiderbitfender
A: An example of a neural tube defect would be spina bifida, where babies are born with an opening at the back with the spines showing.
A: Neural tube bifia

There is no hope...

Q: Describe how the leech has become suited to its lifestyle.

A: The leech can fast feed.
A: Leeches are endoparasites.
A: Leeches can suck up litres and litres of blood and still not get full.
A: Leeches have an anus that also serves as a mouth.
A: Leeches store blood obtained from the previous feed for times of emergency (life or death)
A: Leeches are marine organisms that live in mostly rivers.
A: It injects itself to vertebrates in order to suck out blood for feeding. It’s head is spiny.

...smelly ears...?

Q: What controls balance?

A: Olfactory receptors in the ear control balance.

Ah...it makes so much sense now!

Q: What is their [Flamingos] colour due to?

A: Flamingos are pink for camouflage among other flamingos.

Camouflage against what? The air...? Animals...?

Q: How are some plants adapted to defend themselves against herbivores?

A: Plants can camuflauge with the environment so herbivores do not notice them.

Oh please Mr. Plant! Don't do it! I beg of you...!

Q: How are some plants adapted to defend themselves against herbivores?

A: May have thorns, spikes which harm the animal and may cause it to plead.

The delicate nature of plants...

Did you know that Pelargoniums are "sensative" flowers??

The Croc/elephant shrew/alien monster thingy.

I dug up This little gem from a while back. I think I sent it to Luke or Helen. In any case it is one of my favourite practical dissection drawings. (it's supposed to be a crocodile btw)

Click to Enlarge

I looked around for a nice picture of a croc dissection to make a comparison. Alas, couldn't find one.