Courtesy of Dr Anonymous

Explain, with the aid of a fully-labeled diagram, how changes in levels of a condition typically influence the function of organisms.


“Conditions was something that has influenced the functioning of organisms since decades. Long-ago, temperatures were low as compared to now…” [yeah OK, whatever man]




Distinguish between four types of predators classified according to their functional characteristics (i.e. not by the types of prey they eat), and give an example of each.


“Herbivores - those type of predators doesn't kill the prey but it eats it piece by piece (frequently) that might be the same species or different species. e.g. goats eating grass. True predators - predators that kill the prey doesn't affect it pieces by piece but just kills it one time. e.g. lion eating zebras” [eish! mebbe I fail this ONE TIME]


“Parasitoids: Feed of host, which they then kill for only a part of their life cycle” [and then spend the other part reviving it?]



Explain the differences between resource-weighted density, organism-weighted density, and exploitation pressure, and why ecologists find it useful to distinguish between these different expressions of density.


“It is quite useful…Each individual experience different factors due to its fitness, leading to darwins theory of natural selection”

At least they eat light meals...

Q: Compare the dental formulae of humans and rats. What are the implications for the diets of both species?

A: It is evident that rats have no canines or premolars [because] rats do not tear flesh like humans do, because they do not have canines and premolars to assist them in doing so. Rats eat more lighter food as compared to humans.

Do you think they actually know what a rat is...?

Q: Compare the dental formulae of humans and rats. What are the implications for the diets of both species?

A: Only 2 carnivores per jaw on a rat and a diastema gab without teeth and 2 molars per side of a jaw. This suggests that rats have a limited diet (preferably meat) while human have a wide range of diets.

What's worse? Their vicious temperament, or their poor diet?

Q: When comparing the dental formulae of a rat and a human, what features indicate a difference in the diet of the two species? What do these differences suggest about the diets of both species?

A: [The rats have]…one canine on each side and three molars on each side. The rat [therefore] uses canines to rip & tear the food & the molars to grind it. The ripping and tearing is for the meat that the rat eats & the grinding is for the corn it steals from farmers. We have incisors and premolars which are used for biting & chewing, [therefore] we have a diet with softer things such as vegetables etc.

Who knew so much was at stake...

When asked to explain the activation of a protein-digesting enzyme, the student wrote the following. What they were supposed to write was something along the lines of, the enzyme is only activated in the duodenum as the pancreas doens't have any mechanisms in place to prevent self-digestion, and thus it produces the enzymes in an inactive form. This is what they actually wrote...

"…This is to ensure that it does not react with the other substance that it should not react with as prevention of self destruction."

Stating the blatantly obvious...

Q: Explain the activation of chymotrypsinogen [an enzyme].

A: There is a process in which chymotypsinogen is activated...

My job is to secrete cells!

"The stomach has gastric glands which secrete chief and parietal cells."

For the record, the gastric glands are made up of chief and parietal cells. Not that it really matters, as the question was about the activation of an enzyme in the duodenum...

Digestive enzymes in the blood...?!

"Chymotrypsinogen is secreted by the pancreas and enters the duodenum via the blood stream."

Did it never occur to the student that the last thing you want is to have protein-digesting enzymes in your blood?! They would digest all your blood cells, rendering you unable to transport oxygen to your tissues and you would die.

But wait there's more...

Try these on for size:

* "Global climate change has varying theories of prediction". Really? GCC can theorise? And it's clairvoyant; being able to predict and all.

* When carbon is assimilated by plants into complex organic carbon compounds we can refer to this C as being "sunken" and the process is therefore "C sinkage". (Referring to C sinks and sources of course).

* In a question about how animal behaviour, physiology and distribution could be affected by elevated CO2 and the resultant increase in ambient temperatures, one response started: "Insect and plant physiology is affected by CO2 in the following ways..."

* A question required students to outline how biodiversity changes, as a result of global change, will affect the goods and services delivered by ecosystems to humans. This is possibly my favourite faux pas: "Ecosystems provide many cultural goods such as dyes and recreational drugs used in both religious and social ways". Talk about over-share! And pray tell, under what sorting system are dyes and drugs similar?

Could you be more obvious?

In a question requiring an experimental design to test the projection of changed rainfall and it's influence on primary production the students were required to specify the scale and frequency of data collection.

"I would advise performing this sampling in as large an areas as possible with a high number of sites as this sounds like an excellent opportunity for job creation for 3rd year university students which are in desperate need of income in an impoverish society facing economic recession".

Shame! Did they expect marks or sympathy for that comment.

They're out to get us

The following new species were uncovered in a recent exam. They could be deadly - be warned!

* testes fly (keep them protected boys!)
* misquitos (do they have poor aim?)
* mosquitoe (does this one only head for the extremities?)
* This is the scariest: different strains of rainfall (just stay out of the rain like your mom told you too, then it doesn't matter if it's contagious).

Directly indirect?

"The Nitrogen [N] cycle works in conjunction with the CO2 cycle as both play an important role in plant growth and soil enrichment. Thus, by causing deforestation and alike over fishing we directly influence the N cycle".

keh? Wanna make that point a little clearer?

Grammatically speaking

A few excerpts from a recent Functional Ecology exam:

* By enlarge the pattern....

* Did you know that vegetation was an abiotic measurement that should be recorded for observing changes in rainfall under global climate change? Or that rainfall is a biotic factor used to project agricultural output into the future?

* Oh yes, plants have been shown to migrate to higher altitudes to escape rising temperatures. Did you see them pick up their roots and move? Did they do it in the dead of night when there were no witnesses?

* Climate change is causing the increases in CO2 in the atmosphere as well as those increases in temperatures.

Rant: Didn't your high school teachers ever tell you to think before you ink? Good grief!